Spiritual Growing Pains

(hand lettering by Lisa Congdon)

Spring has sprung here in Los Angeles. The birds are singing their sweet songs outside my bedroom window. Fresh buds are forming on the plants in my partner, Kate’s, green garden. And I’ve been feeling the stirrings of a new season’s energy whirring in my heart—a new life force beginning to emerge. Nudging me outside of familiar patterns of being. Calling me to action beyond what’s comfortable and known.

Answering the call, I’ve recently begun stepping into new experiences. And I’ve certainly enjoyed some successes. But I’ve also been faced with more than a few failures…

Chatting on the phone with a dear friend the other day, I was sharing how challenging it’s been to witness myself falling short.

“It’s all so soberingly painful. The failures I’ve been experiencing lately make me just want to retract and cocoon back into the safety of my old routines…”

“It doesn’t sound like you’ve made any major missteps, or that you’re never going to find your footing, Jennifer. It sounds like you’re in the process of growing. And growing can be really painful sometimes….”

When I think of the phrase, “growing pains”—the first thing I think of is Kirk Cameron (I grew up in the 80’s). And then I think about my legs aching as a child (I was a tall kid)… It hadn’t occurred to me to think of what I’m going through right now as growing pains.

We feel physical pain when our bodies expand—and we feel spiritual pain when our psyches expand. Our bodies stop growing when we reach physical maturity during our development. But our psyches never stop expanding. We’re constantly emerging into new, more evolved versions of ourselves. Sometimes (read: often) this process is painful. And, although I haven’t been overly-hard on myself throughout this current spiritual growth spurt, after talking with my friend, I realized I could definitely benefit from ratcheting up the self-compassion.

So, it seems as though I’m in the midst of some spiritual growing pains. And, chances are, I haven’t seen the end of the discomfort. But I’m committed to amping up my self-compassion practice in an effort to help ease the pain. And we shall see what new wisdom blossoms from it all…